by Jeannie di Bon, May 6th, 2021
The best way I can describe how I used to feel is: hard. Hard on the inside. Rigid almost with tension. My body felt tense constantly, my bones felt rigid and my soft tissue definitely was not soft. I felt I moved with rigidity, unsure of myself, my stability. I felt self-conscious and awkward. I didn’t fit into my own skin or my own body.
Over the years, through movement therapy, I became aware of a new experience. Softness. The ability to settle my bones and let gravity take away the tension I was holding onto. I found I was able to release long held muscular tension and allow my tissues to soften and my bones to settle into place. Breathwork was the first step towards this. This is the starting point to bring awareness to how we actually feel. It’s emotional but powerful. When you’ve lived with chronic pain that accompanies a condition like EDS, it’s hard to focus on anything but the pain. Movement is not enjoyable because we anticipate the pain.
If my bones were held in place by excessive muscular tension 24/7, it was little wonder I was uncomfortable, couldn’t relax easily and felt pain. My body was fatigued. My muscular system was tired. My bones were out of alignment all the time.
The strange thing was, the more I settled, the stronger I became. Movement became easier, more fluid, less jerky. Pain resolved itself. I could strengthen my body. My muscles found their release. No longer held in tension, they were free to glide and move effortlessly. Energy was released. It’s had a profound impact on many aspects of my life for which I’m truly grateful. I was able to take my experiences and help other people to move forward with their pain and discomfort.
Does this resonate with you too? I like to share this experience with others who may understand these feelings I’m talking about here. You’re not alone. I think it’s a by-product of living with a condition like EDS or HSD and the journey we take because of this. My YouTube channel has weekly videos and movement practices that can help you find this new state of deep softness. And if there is a video you would like to see something about, let me know.